Artwork by David Irvine


Last night I had a series of absolutely spectacular dreams! I tend to have amazing dreams but it was as if the entire night was nothing but one long series of dreams. Some of them were clearly coming out of my surrealist nature because they made absolutely zero sense but others I can start to see the underlying theme of the dream.

The last dream I had was particularly interesting. It was an odd dream about an artist I met. He had the power to infuse magic into his art and he created amazing sculptures. I suppose his magic was sort of like voodoo in that if he sculpted a figure of you he could manipulate you like a voodoo doll but it wasn't nearly as creepy as voodoo and in the end it was all voluntary.

His studio was what I imagine an old Spanish monastery would be like, overlooking the ocean. It wasn't the ocean like here or even the Pacific, it was the perfect ocean, warm and inviting. I remember being aware that there was a lot of ocean like it was some point in the distant future and all of the ice caps had melted.

Don't worry it gets stranger and stranger. The artist created a sculpture of me and invited me to his monastery/studio to look at it. I remember that it was made of bronze and absolutely beautiful! The strange thing about it was that it was a sculpture of me as a mermaid.

Aside from loving the Little Mermaid growing up and wanting to be a marine biologist that was pretty much the extent of my love for the oceans. I suppose that's more than others but my dream still tossed a curve ball at me. The artist said that all I needed to do was to dive into the ocean and I would become a mermaid. It was a strange offer but he seemed very warm and benevolent so I decided to take him up on his offer.

I remember being at the end of a pier absolutely nervous and scared about diving in, looking down past my bare feet with a sense of apprehension. I'm not exactly the best swimmer in the real world or even my dreams.I dived in and it was absolutely amazing! I don't really remember what I looked like but I can remember what it felt like. The warmth of the sea and the soft blue glow was totally therapeutic in my opinion! I swam for hours and absolutely loved it! I encountered a few divers and they were surprised but not the same sort of surprised you would be if you saw a mythical sea creature so I can only assume that the future has those sort of things.

When it was all over I swam back to shore and crawled up onto the beach where the artist was waiting for me. I told him about my adventures and how I loved it and I expressed some dismay that it was all over. He then told me that there was no way back and that I was now a mermaid forever. I felt the a quick jab of betrayal but it went away immediately, it was more shock at my situation than anger over it. I didn't really mind and I was actually glad to leave my old life behind though I don't know exactly what that was. It could have either been selfish desire or liberation depending on what I was leaving. I remember that it was truly amazing that this artist knew what was best for me and took me down the path to happiness. After that I woke up in such an amazing mood!!


As for the symbolism and themes of my dream I have a few ideas. The immediate one that comes to mind is my current situation as a transsexual. It's clearly about leaving one life behind and starting a new one as well as a transformation. However I don't think this dream was about that. I was already a woman in my dream as I pretty much tend to be normally.

I think the two major points of this dream were pragmatism and happiness. I absolutely hate the concept of being pragmatic and I think it totally stifles the pleasure that comes from life. I'm the last person you would ever see working in an office and I can't stand still for more than a few years. I think my dream of escaping into the sea just reflects how willing I am to drop everything and run off or in this case swim off into the great unknown.

The other aspect of the dream does have to do with how I want to perceive myself but in a less literal sense. I wish I could be more like the artist. I wish I could make my art more than just art and I wish I knew how to make people happy. I wish I knew exactly what people needed to make their life wonderful and I wish I could give it to them in a spectacular and magical form.

Hopefully I'll dream about it again but for now I'm off to swim with the fishes!